Bedroom Mazurka Uncut (1970)

Max Mikkelsen is a likeable soul, not terribly bright and awkward around women, but harmless enough. He's a teacher at a public school and is in line to become the new headmaster. The only problem is that school tradition dictates the headmaster must have a wife: Max is not only a bachelor, but a virgin and clueless about sex.

This cheesy but amiable Danish sex comedy follows Max's subsequent journey of enlightenment about carnal pleasures. The students of the male-only school see it in their best interest to help Max on his way - Max is much more progressive than his older, more stuffy superiors, and would gladly allow women into the school - and hire a stripper to those ends. When that fails, it's up to the wife and daughter of the outgoing headmaster to teach, the back of the DVD cover states, "their own private lessons in human sexuality".

The surprise about all this is that while it's cheap, poorly acted and is regrettably presented here in a woeful English dub, it is modestly entertaining and decently plotted. That's right, it has a plot. While billed as soft-corn porn, anyone desperately seeking copious sex best look elsewhere, since bar a number of bare-breasted women and a few tame sex scenes, most remained amusingly clothed in late 60s fashions; this is more a Dainish American Pie than Hot Blondes XI.

Only Ole Søltoft as Max gives anything approaching an entertaining performance, the rest range between awful (the wife), eye candy (the daughter) and forgettable (everyone else). Also curious is an unfortunate subplot about rape accusations and the suggestion that deep down it's what all women really desire. It's a strange addition to the story all the more absurd because of the surrounding frivolity.

The picture quality is actually quite decent for a film of this age (and quality) and is presented in anamorphic widescreen, despite the full frame claim on the DVD. Also included is the film trailer and a trailer for Gwendoline (1984) which, with its naked chariot ladies and action-fantasy pretense, looks perfect for an extravagant 80s sex adventure night in, and decidedly more enticing than this passably entertaining slice of 1970s Euro-trash.

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